Category: behavior

Pull back the curtain-Pay attention to the man behind it!

Growing up, our family tradition was to watch The Wizzard of Oz! It captured my heart from the first time I watched it, and it still does! One of the best parts is when they reach Emerald City. They finally get to make their way to see the Great Wizard of Oz when: Toto rips the curtain to the side; the Wizard of Oz realizes he’s been found out and tries to cover it up by shouting over his loudspeaker, “Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain!”

No curtains were involved at the Oscars, when the most disgusting view aired for all to see. I stopped watching these shows a long time ago for many reasons. However, everywhere you turn the video of this scene has overshadowed anything that took place on this awards night.

I am sharing the article from Brian Dodd as I feel it perfectly captures the points I agree with when thinking about this display of actual behavior. The curtain did not have to be pulled back, nor did someone need to say pay no attention to that man; in fact everyone is sharing and saying look at this! However, the need to not only look at this but to take a step back and realize what it means.

We continue to provide platforms, reward behaviors like this, and accept them quickly to move on. Will Smith received a standing ovation after this display of behavior. His wife laughed after he hit Chris Rock. Then we wonder why?

  • Why are people so angry?
  • Why do people yell at each other?
  • Why do people escalate so fast and act out in violence?
  • Why do people think placing hands-on others is okay?
  • Why do our children think it is okay to………..

The role models in the world we are living in are not what they seem to be when the curtain is pulled back or not. I think we can do better!

Obligations, we all have them

Nobody needs to tell you about having obligations; we learn this as a child. We have responsibilities to ourselves, family, community, country, and let’s not leave God out. But when it comes to meeting these obligations, what takes priority?

In all the work you are doing, work the best you can. Work as if you were doing it for the Lord, not for people.”-Colossians 3:23

Whatever your plans are with life, prioritize! Life brings many opportunities, disappointments, celebrations, and achievements. It is in taking the directions, turns, and roads before us that lead us to the spot we are right now. However, as we all know, we keep moving. It is all of the choices and reactions we make to help us as we move.

Jon Gordon and P.J. Fleck have released a new book, Row the Boat. It is an incredible story for you to read! You will learn how this coach turned a tragedy into a choice of not being defined by life journeys, events, and circumstances beyond his control—turning to a strategy. He choose to place into practice in life the “row the boat” to guide with enthusiasm and optimism. P.J. takes you through the process to discover how to put the “row the boat” components into practice. So pull up the anchor and set sail on the best book you will read this year.

Our obligation to ourselves is to invest in learning as much as we can to help ourselves and others. “Do all you can to give more than you take because serving and giving is key to life.”-RTB.

Think about the obligations you have today. What is your priority? The direction you are headed is decided by the compass you carry. “Live with a compass of faith.”-RTB. When you fulfill your obligations based on your priorities, you will count blessings not troubles.

Many times my staff and students would hear me repeat things over. I believe repeating consistently helps to cement it into our thinking. So I would say:

  • Watch your thoughts; they become your words
  • Watch your words; they become your actions
  • Watch your actions; they become your habits
  • Watch your habits; they become your character
  • Watch your character; it becomes your destiny

“Trained behavior creates boring habits, boring habits create elite instincts.”-RTB It is training of the mind and our mindsets that help us focus. Set your priorities to meet your obligations. Your destination is ahead!

Thank you for being the solution daily. Model for others as you are the standard of what we need to be. Let your light shine to brighten the darkness in the world.

The Needs

When you wake up in the morning, the needs hit you right away! You have the need to get to the bathroom, find coffee, food of some kind, and find out the needs of the world around you!

If you have pets, children, spouses, or others in need of your attention, then you are already running late! It would help if you had been up hours ago, or maybe getting sleep is overrated. I was kidding!

I think you understand we live in a world where “the need” is at an all-time high. However, I believe need has been confused with some other words to make life harder for all of us.

A need is something to help provide a safe and healthy environment. We need clean air, water, land, food, clothes and safe environments in order to live. We may want to have the latest version of television, phone, gaming system, shoes from famous brands, and others wants. These wants and wishes are not essential to our health and well-being.

I, like many others, felt the loss of loved ones during the global pandemic. I did not feel the loss within my family, but distant relatives and friends. The needs of others were at an all-time high. We are so lucky to live in this country so needs could be met. Even then, it was not enough as we saw politics get in the way.

There is still a need and even bigger needs in our country. It is so important to look through all of the lenses to see the needs. When looking for solutions, you should always look at all viewpoints to fully understand.

One word echoes through clearly when we talk about addressing difficult topics…..the word is fear. Fear of the cancel culture, being labeled, having negative things said about you, and the list goes on. Well, I will tell you all of that can be true.

Assuming the responsibility of being a leader is a big job. If it were so great and easy, everyone would be one! I have been beaten up (not literally, although it felt like it) several times. Remember “the need.” Behavior is driven by need. Always start with why and what. Why are they?… What do they need?…

When you are faced with these situations it is easy to fall in line with similar behaviors of anger. Pause and remember not to take it personally (trust me, I know it is hard). There is always a reason behind the actions and reactions we take to situations we face. Everyone has a story.

I always like to reflect on words from Mother Teresa. She always provides me with the wisdom I “need.”

“See how nature-trees, flowers, grass-grows in silence; see the stars, the moon and the sun, how they move in silence… We need silence to be able to touch souls.”~Mother Teresa

The world’s noise can be so loud we cannot hear the sounds of the needs calling from those so close to us. If we are quiet for a few moments, we can clearly hear the sounds coming from their hearts…the need! I hear the call, To be one nation under God. A desire to all live together in peace, harmony–equally in a safe and secure environment.

We have survived so much, won many battles, achieved so much, and have so much more to do together. Listen to the silent voices as they speak. Watch for the ways you can begin to help as you build trusting relationships. Leaders can be found in many places, not always with a title.

Behavior- Everyone has it

What is behavior? It is what we see. Behavior is observable. It is the way an individual acts in response to a situation. Behavior is the way one conducts oneself.

There are many ways we talk about behavior. “That girl is spoiled; she will not eat hamburgers cooked anywhere except from McDonald’s.” I can hear my Uncle Bobby say those words. As a child I admit I was a very picky eater! I still am picky, but not like I was. My dad would drive all the way into town to get something for me to eat when we went to visit.

I reflect on my childhood, as I am sure you do as well. We do not all have the same experiences, but we learn many of our behaviors and character traits. I am thankful for gaining my service to others from my parents. It is the joy of giving, seeing others succeed, and placing the needs of others first.

When we think of behaviors needed for success, look at those individuals you believe are successful in what they do. When you do this you need to define success.

I believe leaders need to have these 12 character and behavior traits to support success for themselves and those they lead:

1. Inspiring others

2. Thinking strategically daily and long term

3. Leading change and transition

4. Learning from experiences

5. Navigating ambiguity with a growth mindset

6. Demonstrating courage and grit

7. Competency in Positivity

8. Integrity and trustworthy

9. Displaying creativity

10. Building relationships (staff, students, families, community, leaders, stakeholders )

11. Recognizing the potential in self and others

12. Communicating effectively (written and oral) timely manner with consistency to all.

One of the issues most new teachers have trouble with is classroom management. Even some seasoned teachers can find difficulties with managing behaviors. There are many roots to behaviors. It takes a little digging to discover the causes, but once we identify and understand, we can support by using techniques. Follow the Action Steps to guide you through the behavior identification. Strategies can be applied once we have identified the behavior.

Action Steps

  • Identify the behavior
  • Understand the behavior
  • Identify the causes, needs, techniques and supports
  • Avoid “being part of the problem”

Strategies

  • Routines. Set clear routines for everything you would like students to do in your classroom.
  • Silent signals. (Red, Yellow, Green cards on desk)
  • Proximity.
  • Quiet Corrections.
  • Give students a task.
  • Take a break.
  • Positive phrasing. (I like how, You did a great job doing-)
  • State the behavior you want to see.
  • Offer choices.
  • Address the child first, not the behavior
  • Stay calm
  • Build relationships
  • Help children feel safe and trusting
  • Let children reach out for help without judging

Many things we can do to help understand all behaviors in our world. Take time to build a safe place where you can discover how to learn, work and grow together in success today. Thank you for being the solution daily.