Lesson 3: The obstacle is the way.
Blessings find us when we are ready to see them. We often miss them because we are busy looking in the wrong places or focusing on the “problem” we see. Danny and I find we have things in common, but we are not alone. Many leaders face similar obstacles, issues, problems, or challenges. Danny took a year to discover how to release from his issue, and it took me three years.
“It took nearly a year to flip my mindset from seeing Houston as a failure to counting it as a blessing. I was obsessed with proving my supervisor (and those pressuring her) wrong. I felt like I had something to prove. Somehow I had to even the score. I was wronged. I wanted to make things right somehow. What a terrible burden to carry for a year, and I am lucky to have put that burden down after a year!”-Daniel Bauer
Danny shared this story of two monks who were on their way back to their monastery. As part of their religious training they vowed to never come into contact with a woman.
“And on their way home to the monastery, they happened to come across a woman who needed assistance crossing a river.
The two monks were headed in the same direction, so the older of the two monks asked the woman if he could assist. He did so by picking her up and helping her cross the water.
The monks continued their journey in silence …
Hours went by and their journey was coming to an end. The monastery was on the horizon. The younger monk was visibly irritated and broke his silence.
He said, “Brother, how could you violate your vow to never touch a woman? I am so disappointed with you and don’t understand.”
The older monk said, “Brother, I put the woman down hours ago. Why are you still holding her?”
Grudges, vendettas, and other burdens do not serve you.”
Carrying negative experiences forward with you from the past is never healthy. After reflecting, Danny could see how this negative event closed a door for him, but another one opened. He would never have taken the chances he did, written his book or accomplished all he has if he had not been pushed to a different path.
My journey was a little different, I did resign, but it was three years later. Our bodies react to the stress in our lives. When it is compounded and not resolved, significant changes can occur. I was at that point in my life.
After inquiring with my teacher retirement system per my doctor’s request, to ask about reducing hours, the boss takes action, but not the kind you expect. I had attempted to speak to my boss about my issues, but communication with me was not a priority.
A few days later, in my office entered, my boss and one of her assistants relocated my secretarial staff, closed the door, and began to ask questions. My boss speaks, the other takes notes, then tells me I will need to work from home. I am told to gather up my things, and they walk me out.
Now to those peeking out the windows, the message sent to all is that I was walked out of my office and sent home. People believe in their minds I have done something wrong. In my heart, I am feeling the same way. I do not hear any words spoken, only my heart beating faster. Five days later, I received a letter that the Board of Education had placed me on medical leave. Wow, I thought in shock again. No one has asked to talk to me. Why? There is nothing on file to indicate I was not doing my job. My accident happened in 2010, and my unexpected departure in 2018. I am so sorry to those I left with no goodbyes or explanations. Three years passed, and no contacts.
My health has improved since leaving the position, and my diagnosis will never change from 2010. The label I worked hard to overcome, they placed on me without a blink of an eye. The leader decided to handle this situation in this manner, their way. Like my post on September 28, 2021, called Hook, line, and sinker, they bought it with fractions of information and not complete facts.
We move on until we are reminded—a story in the paper, a post on social media, or a picture. Sometimes it is a date on the calendar that takes you back to the day life changed for you and those close to you. Then you remember “what matters most” is helping others, sharing, lifting, listening, and always finding the time to be there when they need you the most! Be the solution daily to change the negatives to positives as you are the light to brighten the darkness. You can move on no matter the circumstance. You always have the power to control the action steps you take. Remember, you do not have to prove anything to anyone, be happy with yourself. Moving on isn’t always what it seems to others, but the truth is all you need. Always move forward with eyes lifted and praise the one who guides you through.
“As you care less about what people think of you, you will care more about what others think of themselves.” -Stephen Covey
“It’s not what happens to us, but our response to what happens to us that hurts us. Of course, things can hurt us physically or economically and cause sorrow. But our character, our basic identity, does not have to be hurt at all. In fact, our most difficult experiences become the crucibles that forge our character and develop the internal powers, the freedom to handle difficult circumstances in the future and to inspire others to do so as well.”-Stephen Covey