Conversations are critical in our daily interactions. Our need for consistent and clear communications help to maintain an understanding of basic needs and information. Building strong relationships are formed based on the ability of the conversations we can hold, even when they are difficult.
How to have that conversation
- Choose the right time to talk.
- Start on a positive note
- Repeat, reflect and seek to understand what you just heard.
- Monitor voice level
- Be aware of body language
- How are those talking positioned? Sitting at same level, next to each other?
- Rember, it is not about being right!
- Solving problems with solutions come with embracing different points of views-looking through different lenses.
- Stay focused on the topic.
- Find common ground-consensus.
- Check the temperature! If the discussion becomes heated take a break. Nothing can be solved when emotions take over.
My philosophy of Two Rules applies to all aspects of life, including conversations we avoid having but need to have. No one wants to have those types of conversations when you talk about cancer, death, ending a relationship, or addressing work issues. In every situation, our goal is always to feel good and feel safe. Our approach is always to keep these two rules at the center of what we do. The authentic core values will provide the foundation we stand on as we seek solutions. This does not mean everyone gets what they want or that no one receives consequences for actions. It means everyone understands the values, the authentic approach, and consistency.
There is always a choice in how we respond and react. We can be part of the problem or part of the solution; it is helping all understand the importance of feeling good and safe in the place we are.